I'm not.
I'm thinking and remembering my kids. They really are little jewels in my crown.
Today, Sam and Elle and I went out to a historical building here in town. It's a five minute drive, but Sam insisted on bringing "Puppy" or, "Hook" as he is sometimes referred as. Sammy jabbers constantly in the backseat so I tend to tune him out. I caught a little something that I'm glad I didn't push out.
"...Please keep puppy safe. Please, Heavenly Father, let puppy love me. Let him know I love him. Please help puppy to keep me safe..."
Me: 'Sam, did you say a prayer for Puppy?
Sam: "No, I gave him a blessing."
Me: "That's nice because a blessing is a prayer, good practicing for when you turn 16."
Sam: "Elle wants one too, Mom. Not from Dad, from me, because I'm her best friend."
Me: Sobbing in the front seat.
Sometimes I forget how fresh they are from our Father in Heaven; How close they really are to Him. I read a conference talk by Elder Cook of the Seventy, entitled: It Is Better To Look Up.
I often feel like my briefcase is heavy and I can't help but think, "I can't possibly do this!"
Elder Cook states, "Why is it a challenge to consistently look up in our lives? Perhaps we lack the faith that such a simple act can solve our problems. For example, when the children of Israel were bitten by poisonous serpents, Moses was commanded to raise up a brass serpent on a pole. The brass serpent represented Christ. Those who looked up at the serpent, as admonished by the prophet, were healed.4 But many others failed to look up, and they perished."
I wonder sometimes if I would be one who failed to look up, overcome with my own grief and worries, bothered by my kids' inpropriety at throwing their boots at glass cases in the museum. Instead, I need to "look up" and "step up", and remember He wants me to be HAPPY!
My friend, Lauren and I asked Max once where heaven is. He replied, "In outer space!" I think he was 2 or 3 years old. I asked him yesterday what a covenant was. He said, "A promise that we make with God. He promises and you promise." Max helped me remember that when I take upon myself the Lord's name and do all things by him, I "will have his spirit to be with me", to be uplifted and fulfilled during my time on this earth.
I love my kids, I'm so grateful for them. Elle who has decided she won't be sleeping at night anymore. I went in at 6 this morning after she had yelled for about an hour, turned on the light and looked at her. She was sitting in her crib with her legs straight out, and turned her head up to look at me. She didn't have tears, just a little cherubic face that broke into instant smiles and banter. When her arms went up and out toward me, I felt like I could hold her forever. Her little head nestled in my neck and her arms squeezing mine.
These really are the "small and simple things by which great things are brought to pass." Like changing my heart and helping me to look up.


